Here are Ruth's "Five Rules For Life":
1.) This too shall pass.
When I was younger, the intensity of my emotions colored my perception of everything, and it seemed as if my experience of the moment was a permanent state. Now I realize that every mood, every situation - everything - comes and goes, ebbs and flows. So, I try to ride the waves of life, and enjoy still waters when things settle.
2.) Now could be the very last moment you spend with a loved one.
I realized this after the death of my father. There were so many loose ends in our relationship when he became ill and died. There is much I would have done differently, if I could do it all over again. There were so many little ways I could have been nicer to my dad. I could have spent more time with him, I could have apologized for the horrible things I said during my turbulent teens. But...
3.) Regret is useless.
We cannot change the past, but we can learn from it. In terms of lessons learned from #2, I now try to choose - moment to moment - to treat those I love as if these were the last moments we might spend together. Of course, I don't always succeed. But, I...
4.) Forgive.
I forgive myself and others. Forgiving is an art, and I intend to spend the rest of my life perfecting it. I've learned from experience that holding a grudge is painful, but forgiveness opens the door to healing and peace. When I'm having a hard time forgiving another person, I remind myself that...
5.) It's never about "them" - it's always about me.
No matter how many times my ego tries to trick me into believing that "I'm upset because so-and-so did such-and-such and he was wrong, and, and, and...", I know - and try to hold the knowing - that everything in life is a lesson. Every event, every upset, every person (those I love, and those who annoy me - often the same people) illuminates something about me that needs healing, understanding, resolution, or clarification. And if I miss the lesson, that's OK! The same lessons will keep appearing in my life until I learn what I need to learn.
...editor's note - Ruth maintains her own blog here.
Ruth currently resides in Carbondale, Colorado.
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